Parents – Children Really are Born with Instructions

At a parent, through trail and error you might feel like you are finally getting this parenting experience under control…until the next baby. Then to your dismay you discover what worked with the first child seems to be a disaster with the new one! Why?

Each of us is a unique combination of the Four Perceptions: Audio, Feeler, Visual, and Wholistic. When children are born, they are 100% Feelers. Although they will continue to have sensitive feelings during their formative years, their primary Perception will begin to reveal itself when they’re about six months old.

The perceptual styles provide you with an “instruction manual” on how to raise encouraged rather than discouraged children. Can you identify your children’s primary perceptual styles from these examples?

The principal desire for AUDIO Children is to maintain personal control and a sense of fairness.
These words or actions promote:	Discouraging results	Try these words/actions for more:	Encouraging results for the child
Saying “you can’t (do, have)” or insisting on your way.	Power struggle Defiance Aggressive behavior	Offer alternative choices. Audios like to be involved in decisions that affect them. Magic words: “The choice is yours.” Stick to the decision, whether it’s what to wear or punishment for misbehaving.	Learn accountability for their actions Feel respected Will treat you with more respect Recognize fairness of your actions Less power struggles
The principal desire for FEELER Children is to please you or not make you angry.
These words or actions promote:	Discouraging results	Try these words/actions for more:	Encouraging results for the child
Rushing to their rescue over every little “ouch”	Become cry babies Learn to turn on tears to get attention Are over-reactive	Unless the situation is serious, make light of the situation. Don’t over-react. Involve them in the cleaning and bandaging of the wound. Perhaps kiss it “to make it better.”	Learn not to over-react to every little “ouch” Become more self-reliant – don’t expect you to always rescue them Learn to become more in control of their feelings
The principal desire for VISUAL Children is everything to be perfect, just as they visualized it.
These words or actions promote:	Discouraging results	Try these words/actions for more:	Encouraging results for the child
“Let me help you” and you complete the task for them.	Feel incapable, inadequate Defensively yell “Let me do it!” You feel un-appreciated for your help	“I’m here if you need me. If you want some help, just ask.” Help with just the first part of the task, showing them what you’re doing. Let them finish it. They can ask for help again if needed.	Mutual respect Increases self-confidence Sense of achievement Learning experience Increases self-esteem
The principal desire for WHOLISTIC Children is to be treated like an adult.
These words or actions promote:	Discouraging results	Try these words/actions for more:	Encouraging results for the child
“What do you mean you’ve got nothing to do. You’re got a room full of toys and games.”	Boredom Restlessness Whining	Provide items that expand their creativity rather than toys Try new angles for getting a job done. For fun let them set the table with everything backwards. Provide add-on things: “Your fort looks great. How about adding an escape tunnel, flags, a moat, etc.”	Once they grasp a new idea, they’re off and running Will play contently for some time When it’s show and tell time, ask questions–shows you’re interested and will help you understand what they’ve attempted to do Stimulates your creativity too!