Listen Up!
Newsletter
The essence of a
strong relationship is
to be open to the perceptions of others.
Carol
M. Welsh, Author/Speaker
This
newsletter supplements Carol’s book: STOP WHEN YOU
SEE RED
To learn more
about the four perceptual styles, to
order the book,
or to contact Carol Welsh, click here: www.stopred.com
September
2006
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Say What?
"Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else." (From: http://humor.about.com – Bona Fide Classifieds)
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Tip of the Month
Labor
Day
used to mark the end of summer and the beginning of school and “back to
work.” Therefore,
I chose this month to dedicate a newsletter to working women.
With
all
the demands in your life as a working woman, it’s easy to arrive at
work
looking frazzled rather than professional. Slip out of bed a half-hour
earlier
if you are so pressed for time that you end up applying your make-up
while
driving, or want to scream at the heavy traffic. That extra half-hour
is for
you so you don’t start the day stressed out. An extra half-hour of
sleep is
quickly destroyed by stress. Some women use the time for yoga or to
work out.
Others use it to quietly get ready for work before the rest of the
household
wake up. Others prefer leaving for work early to beat the traffic. One
woman I
know puts on her make-up when she gets to work. Another uses the time
to
organize her day before phones start ringing. How will you use your
gift of a
half-hour?
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The
Professional Woman
Have you ever wondered
why some
women instantly appear professional while others seem not to have it
completely
together? How we act and react is influenced by our four perceptual
styles:*
Audio, Visual, Feeler, and Wholistic. We are a combination of all four
styles but
our primary style influences our actions and reactions the most.
However, the
more in balance you are with the four styles, the easier it is to adapt
to another
person’s style. This adaptability makes you more approachable and
people admire
your professionalism.
For instance, when you
have a
meeting with an Audio, you need to
cover the main points and in a logical sequence. If you ramble or
provide
unnecessary details, she might interrupt and ask, “And the point is …?”
As a
professional woman, you know to collect your thoughts and remain
focused during
the meeting. It’s okay if she is not maintaining eye contact with you
because
she can concentrate better if she turns her ear toward you or looks
down to
write a few notes.
On
the
other hand, if you break eye contact with a Visual,
it has the same effect as if you interrupted her. When meeting with a
Visual,
it’s show time. If you simply tell her your plans for a project, she
will have
a blank face because she is trying to visualize what is needed and the
steps
involved. As a professional woman, you understand her feeling that “if
it’s
going to be done right, I have to do it myself.” Point out what can be
delegated and what is acceptable, even if it’s not at her standard of
perfection. Otherwise, she’ll get so bogged down in the details that
she might
not meet the deadline.
A
Feeler is willing to work on whatever
needs to be done as long as she understands how
to do it. Audios have a tendency to be blunt, which can intimidate a
Feeler. As
a professional woman, you are aware of this sensitivity, so speak with
a
supportive tone. You also realize she needs to have a chance to try
what you
are asking her to do because she doesn’t want to make a mistake. Not
only do you
encourage her to take on new challenges, you show your appreciation for
the
many tasks she has completed.
Because
a Wholistic has the ability to quickly grasp
the whole picture of what needs to be done, she is ready to take action
immediately.
As a professional woman, you support her ability to do upfront planning
and to delegate
the rest of the responsibilities to team members. She has the ability
to
multitask as long as others can assist in completing what she or the
team started.
First impressions
influence people’s
perceptions. Regardless of the widespread slackening of standards in
today's
culture, a good first impression will always be in style. Ten
impressions (in
random order) that might cause a woman to be perceived as
unprofessional are:
1.
Too
much skin exposure
Are you there to focus on the project or topics, or to be a distraction
because
of your revealing neckline or hemline? A professional woman’s clothing
and
make-up complement her in an understated fashion so the attention is
more on
her actions or words than on her attire.
2.
Gum
chewing
Save it for when you’re working at your desk. Better yet, leave it at
home.
3.
Cussing
and telling jokes with sexual innuendos
This does not make you “one of the guys.” Rather, it might make others
feel
uncomfortable because it’s unprofessional behavior for men and women.
Don't
give anyone cause to claim sexual harassment.
4.
Displays
of temper
A professional woman is aware how quickly people will lose respect if
you can’t
control your temper or use it to control or intimidate others.
5.
Gossiping
about colleagues
Gossiping is an insidious trap. A professional woman is able to change
the
subject or return negative gossip with words of kindness about the
person. When
you turn a deaf ear, gossipers soon learn not to bother you.
6.
Distracting
movements—legs constantly moving, twirling a strand of hair, nail
biting, tapping
a pencil, clicking a pen, etc.
It’s amazing the things we do subconsciously. A professional woman sits
in a
relaxed manner or forward in her chair, which shows she’s interested in
what is
being said. Oprah is an excellent example. The current trend when
you’re
sitting at a table is to keep your hands where they can be seen. If you
keep
them under the table, others might wonder what you are hiding.
7.
Being
disorganized
This leads to misplacing things, being unprepared, appearing scattered.
When
you are organized, you can quickly adapt to a sudden change in plans
rather
than becoming confused and disoriented.
8.
Looking
unkempt
One of my friends buys most of her clothes at resale shops. She passes
over trendy
clothing (here today and gone tomorrow) and looks for classic styles
that require
little or no ironing and look fresh all day. When she steps into the
workplace,
she looks and feels like a professional woman. She keeps a “spot
remover” pen
and an extra pair of hosiery in her desk. Even if I travel only
overnight, I
always take an extra change of clothing, including shoes, so I am
prepared for
a quick change if something gets spilled on me or my bra breaks (it has
happened!). Clean hair is a must. If you have an early appointment and
don’t
have time to do your hair, consider a wig in a professional style. It
isn’t
expensive, you look great, and you can throw it into your briefcase and
put it
on in a restroom.
9.
Monopolizing
the discussion, including interrupting others
A professional woman listens attentively and speaks to make a point.
Because
she doesn’t crave the attention, she doesn’t repeat what someone just
said. She
simply nods or says she agrees with the speaker. When she is hanging
out with
friends, lively chatter and laughter is the norm. However, friends
appreciate a
good listener too.
10. Arriving
late
When I was in my early twenties and living in
As a professional woman,
the time to
focus on you is when you’re getting
ready for work. When the professional woman is looking back at you in
your
mirror, you are ready to focus on the task at hand and on others
rather than yourself. Now, that’s a true professional.
* For more information on
the four
perceptional styles, visit www.stopred.com.
Copyright © 2005-2006
Carol M. Welsh. All Rights Reserved