Listen Up! Newsletter
The essence of a strong relationship is to be open to the perceptions of others.
Carol M. Welsh, Author/Speaker
This newsletter supplements Carol’s book: STOP WHEN YOU SEE RED
To learn more about the four perceptual styles, to
order the book,
or to contact Carol Welsh, click here: www.stopred.com
June 2006
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Say What?
A
spoonerism is when you accidentally “wix mords.” Here’s an example with
shocking results.
Years
ago I started a job in a department store. During orientation, I met a
woman who
quickly became a friend. That evening I told my husband about her. I
explained
that I wished I was working in her department, Rapes and
Drugs. He gasped in horror and then I realized my error.
I meant to say she works in the Drapes and
Rugs
department.
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Tip of the Month
When you’re open to the perceptions of others, you foster a strong relationship, whether it’s a work or personal relationship. Close-mindedness breeds misconceptions which weaken or even destroy relationships.
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Shuffling or Dancing?
As I entered the restaurant,
I looked for the hostess so I could inquire as to where the Shrine Club
of
Daytona Beach was meeting. I was the guest dinner speaker and had
arrived early
so I would have time to get set up and chat with the members.
When I asked a passing
waitress for the location, she pointed in the direction of the hostess,
who was
helping an elderly man walk to the private dining room. She had hold of
his
left arm while he steadied himself with his cane in his right hand. I
wasn’t in
a hurry so I walked slowly behind them while he shuffled along.
When I entered the dining
room, there was plenty of room to pass them so I quickly headed to the
podium
and table that was provided for my books. When everything was ready, I
introduced myself to an attractive man who was sitting at the head
table. He
invited me to sit at the end of the table to his immediate left. He
said he was
the person in charge of programs and was delighted to have me as the
guest
speaker. He told me his name but the noise in the room from club
members
conversing was reverberating off the walls, so I could only catch his
first
name, which was John.
I excused myself so I could
circulate among the members before dinner started. I have a loud
speaker’s
voice but had to increase my volume to screaming level so the members
could
hear me. Since chatting with them became impossible, I returned to the
head
table.
As I sat down, John picked up
my left hand and commented that there was no wedding ring. When we
discovered
that we both had lost our spouses, John’s eyes lit up with
anticipation. He
shared some of his stories from when he was a race car driver and drove
on the
streets of
After dinner, there was a
brief meeting. One of the topics was the concern that the club would
fold if
they didn’t get some younger members. The club was shrinking due to the
demise
of so many elderly members. I knew after a long day and a full stomach
that I
would be challenged to keep this senior crowd awake despite the fact
that I
sprinkled my speech with humor.
As I talked, John’s face was
animated while he appeared to hang on every word I said. He nodded when
he
agreed with what I was saying, while others were nodding because they
were
asleep! When I speak, I always look around the room while briefly
making eye
contact with members of the audience. But I was pulled back to John
because of
his enthusiastic response. When he removed his traditional red fez, I
found
myself looking down on thick, wavy, gunmetal grey and silver hair. I
gazed at this
handsome man and thought, “No way is he 85. He doesn’t look it and he
has so
much vitality!”
After the talk I became
involved in selling and signing books. I noticed that John was politely
waiting
until I finished so I could sign his copy last. I stood and reached out
to
shake his hand. John was a tall man so I was looking up at him. In one
smooth
move, he used the handshake to pull me forward so he could plant a kiss
on my
mouth. He stepped back triumphant, with a pleased grin on his face,
while his eyes
danced with merriment. You could practically hear him think, “This guy
still
has what it takes.” If he could, he would have kicked up his heels.
I thanked John for making the
evening special. Of course I too was grinning from ear to ear over his
daring
action. He walked tall while he took a few steps and reached for a cane
lying
on the next table. He turned and began to shuffle through the
restaurant. At
that moment I realized John was the “old” man I had followed into the
private
dining room. This time, although he was shuffling, his soul was dancing
and he
stood taller.
How my perception had
changed. I had felt sorry for the old man who appreciated the helping
hand of
the hostess. I thought what a shame it was that this man, who had once
been
full of energy, had been reduced to needing help just to walk. Now as I
looked
at his retreating back, I felt respect, admiration and yes, a sigh in
my heart.
I was reminded to never judge a person by his cover. You never know
what lies
within. Was he shuffling or was he dancing?
Copyright © 2006 Carol M. Welsh. All Rights
Reserved