Listen Up!
Newsletter
The essence of a
strong relationship is
to be open to the perceptions of others.
Carol
M. Welsh, Author/Speaker
This
newsletter supplements Carol’s book: STOP WHEN YOU
SEE RED
To learn more
about the four perceptual styles, to
order the book,
or to contact Carol Welsh, click here: www.stopred.com
August
2006
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Say What?
"Dog
kennel, suited for medium
sized dog, good condition, very turdy ..."
(From: http://humor.about.com – Bona Fide Classifieds)
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Tip of the Month
The
health
benefits of laughter are so well documented that there are groups of
women in
Many
of us
get so caught up in the responsibilities of life that we forget to
play.
Playfulness is spontaneous. You grab the
moment and
explore the possibilities of fun. Kids love it when you turn doing
chores into
a game. Playfulness is also a turn-on. When you’re laughing and having
fun with
your partner, you’re focused on each other, not the bills or children.
It’s a
warm, intimate expression of love that makes you want to hug each
other… and
more.
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So You Think It’s Funny
Have
you
heard a joke and thought, “I don’t get it” and then looked around and
wondered
why people were laughing? You might bravely ask the person next to you
what’s
so funny. When they explain, you chuckle because you don’t want to look
completely stupid but now you’re being ribbed for being so dense!
Well,
the
heartening news is that you’re not alone. Our humor and even how we
tell jokes
is influenced by the four perceptual styles: Audio, Feeler, Visual and
Wholistic*. For instance, for Audios, words are important. Therefore,
using the
correct words as they perceive them
is evident even in their jokes.
We
don’t
appreciate it when Audios interrupt us and say, “I would have said it
this
way,” when we are telling them about an incident. We’re shocked by the
correction because their way says the same thing but just worded
differently.
When we mention that it means the same, they reply, “Yes, but my way is
better.”
Keeping
that “loftiness” in mind, an Audio friend said he was going to write a
book on
how to tell Level 5 jokes. I asked him why he would want to do that
since it
means that most of us wouldn’t understand them. He laughed and replied,
“That’s
the whole point!” Audios like the feeling of superiority it gives them
when
their jokes go right over your head. Here’s an example:
I
was
walking behind two colleagues who both have their PhDs. Suddenly one
looked at
the other and said, “Together we’re a paradox!” They laughed,
high-fived and
keep walking. It took me about 2 minutes to figure out that together
they are a
pair-of-docs (PhDs). When I use this
example in my presentations, only a few laugh, and the rest give me a
blank
stare. When I’m talking to speakers, I caution them about using jokes
that are
too subtle to illustrate a point.
Audios
have
dry, subtle humor. They also love the challenge of pulling off
practical jokes.
If the person gets very upset or hurt a bit because of the practical
joke, it
doesn’t bother them much because they are not touchy-feely people.
Instead,
while laughing, they might say, “Aw, did it hurt when the chair broke
under
you? I’m sooooo sorry.”
Feelers
rarely will participate in practical jokes unless it’s fun and quick so
the
person knows immediately that it’s a practical joke. For instance, in
college
the single dorm room was extremely small so all of the furniture fit
into the
shower room. This was back in the days before each room had its own
bathroom.
When the girl discovered her empty room, she let out a scream in
astonishment.
We who did this “evil” deed almost collapsed with laughter when she saw
her
furniture neatly arranged in the shower room. She was furious until we
told her
we would put it back immediately. Her anger dissipated as she quickly
recognized this as a harmless prank.
Feelers
enjoy watching the television show America’s
Funniest Videos but see nothing funny about those videos where the
people
clearly have hurt themselves. Instead they will feel sympathy for the
person
and maybe annoyed that the show even aired the video.
Feelers
love
the feeling of connecting with others when laughing. So an obviously
funny joke
will be one that they will want to repeat to others, except
… they usually forget the punch line. They’ll say, “I heard
this funny joke. Wait! I’ve got to get the punch line ready first.”
Well,
because they are thinking so hard about the punch line, they often give
it away
by mistake!
For
instance, instead of asking, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” (The
answer
and punch line is, “To get to the other side.”), they’ll botch up the
joke by
saying, “Why did the chicken want to get to the other side of the
road?” Well
if you’re a Feeler, be of good cheer. You don’t have to tell the joke
to get
people to laugh. They’ll laugh anyway because, as usual, you screwed up
the
punch line, and they will adore you for it. There is something
delightfully
innocent about a Feeler trying to tell a joke. If it’s a funny story,
Feelers
are laughing so hard while telling it that you’re laughing before you
even know
why—merely because laughter is so contagious. So Feelers, don’t worry
if you
botch it up. You make it so much fun that everyone ends up having a
good laugh
anyway and that’s what counts.
Visuals’
humor can sometimes get them in trouble because they can visualize a
funny
twist to a story. So they might suddenly burst out laughing in class or
church
when no one else is laughing. They are also quick with puns.
One
day
Marge and Jason were driving along a quiet road at night. Their
headlights
picked up road-kill in the middle of the road. Marge said it looked
like a
raccoon.
Jason
replied, “I think it’s a cat.” Marge disagreed because she was fairly
certain
she saw rings on the tail.
“Well,”
Jason said, “whatever it is, it’s a Himalayan
on the road.”
I
love to
hear Visuals tell humorous stories. They usually play each part, using
different voices and accents. Their faces are so expressive that you
are
cracking up as the story unfolds. It’s amazing that they can stay in
the moment
and not break down laughing, which is what happens to Feelers.
Visuals
can
engineer elaborate practical jokes because they are meticulous about
every
detail so that it almost becomes a theatrical production. They are
looking more
for the element of surprise or disbelief than a physical happening.
Some of the
skits on the television show “Candid Camera” are good examples.
Wholistics,
on the other hand, aren’t particularly motivated to get involved in a planned practical joke. They prefer the
spontaneity of a prank, such as, “Quick, everyone hide” or shaking up a
bottle
of soda before handing it to someone. If they see an artificial
Cottonmouth
snake that looks and acts real, they might buy it because of the
reactions it
will cause from unsuspecting people when it slithers out in front of
them.
Again, it’s more of a prank because it doesn’t require the involved
planning of
a practical joke.
Wholistics
can take a topic or read a story and instantly improvise on it to make
it
funny. I used to live in
“No,”
I
said. “What happened?” He replied that a man backed into a saw.
“Oh
my gosh!” I exclaimed. “What happened to the
poor guy?”
With
a
straight face he said, “Oh he just got a little behind in his work.”
Sigh, he
got me again. Eventually I could tell when he, despite his poker face,
was
leading up to a surprise ending.
Everyone
loves a good laugh, so make sure it’s a joke that most people will
“get.”
Otherwise, why bother. You want the people to laugh and have a good
time rather
than feel foolish because they haven’t a clue what you’re talking about.
* For
more information on the four
perceptional styles, visit www.stopred.com
Copyright © 2005-2006
Carol M. Welsh. All Rights
Reserved